This summer, I was incredibly fortunate to deliver teacher training in various countries and one thing really amazed me. Whenever I asked teachers what they believed students needed to succeed in their learning journeys, several teachers mentioned confidence, self-esteem, discipline and willingness to learn. Seeing teachers think beyond the cognitive domain made my heart smile, because I’m a firm believer that our job is so much more than teaching a language: we teach people!
Whilst building rapport is essential and is frequently mentioned in the literature, one aspect not mentioned often is the concept of teaching with empathy. And with many of us returning to the classroom this month, this seems to be the perfect time to elaborate on the importance of teaching with empathy and how this concept links to building rapport.
Building Rapport
As Comer (1995) puts it, “No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.” Quite simply, rapport develops and fuels learning. Rapport, however, is a complex concept and not easy to define or measure. It is about establishing friendly relationships, building mutual trust and connections, in this case between teachers and students. Building connections doesn’t mean becoming the students’ best friend, it simply means being able to communicate well together because we understand each other’s feelings and ideas.
The primary purpose of building rapport is to create a safe space where all learners feel comfortable enough to express themselves in English and allow themselves to make mistakes as they learn. This all starts with getting to know our learners. I believe this is one of the most important focus areas in the first weeks back at school.
Have you seen the iceberg image representing the concept of culture? Well, this seems equally applicable to getting to know our learners. Knowing their names is not enough. If we do not find out more about their contexts, their background, interests and motivators we are only aware of the top of the iceberg: their observed behaviour, what they do and say, or don’t do or say. So, to understand our learners well, we need to get to know them better and find out what is going on beyond the surface. For this we need a state of trust and teaching with empathy can enhance this.
Defining empathy
Empathy is defined as being “the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives and using that understanding to guide our actions” (Krznaric, 2014: x). To teach with empathy, we need to identify with and understand students’ emotions, thoughts and perspectives which requires us to ‘see’ beyond observable behaviour in the classroom.
Why is empathy important for rapport?
Teaching with empathy deepens our rapport and enables a positive classroom community where all students feel safe, supported and valued. Empathy facilitates building stronger, trusting relationships with our learners which can lead to students being more inclined to listen and work with us, making managing the learners and their learning process easier (Marzano, 2003). Students are more likely to trust and respect a teacher who understands and cares about their feelings, so maybe it is time to shift our thinking about classroom management from managing learners to managing relationships!
In addition, Gkonou and Mercer (2017) found that a quality teacher-student relationships were marked by empathy, respect, trust, and responsiveness. Quality teacher-student relationships can positively influence “students’ academic self-perceptions, school engagement, motivation, learning, and performance” (Furrer, Skinner, and Pitzer, 2014, p. 102). Reeve (2006) highlights that when a teacher is interested in their learners and their learning, students seem to have higher self-worth and better overall well-being all of which indirectly aid learning.
Teaching guided by empathy
As effective users of the language we might have forgotten how long the journey can be and how frustrating learning English could be at times. Also, it is important to remember that learning does not happen in isolation. Students’ behaviour can be affected because of what may be going on outside the classroom, or by emotions triggered by certain smells, sounds or topics. When our teaching is guided by empathy, we are able to see the learning journey through our students’ eyes. Through empathetic teaching behaviours we can show we genuinely care about students’ feelings, perspectives, experiences and challenges which helps to build trust and strengthens the relationship. In other words, the better we get to know our learners, the more empathy we can show, the stronger the relationship can grow.
Teaching guided by empathy
Overall, teaching empathetically leads to a stronger more inclusive classroom community enhancing the positive relationships built. So, what can we do to demonstrate empathy in our teaching?
- Manage your body language. Non-verbal cues play an important role in the way we establish connections with others. Positive facial expressions signal openness which can create willingness for students to share their thoughts and feelings. Have a look in the mirror to check out your “concentrated look”, as it might look less positive than we intend!
- Use active listening. When students share their thoughts, nod to show you are truly listening. Listening to what students say but also to how they say it, tune into to identify and understand their thoughts and feelings instead of thinking about your reply (easier said than done!). Listening actively is about identifying and understanding the emotions and message behind their communication. Create a moment of silence before you respond, then rephrase their message to check your understanding, instead of judging or criticizing their ideas.
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of judging their perspective, thoughts or feelings, respond by asking learners to elaborate. With the current pace of life, we simply might not know what is going on in their lives outside the classroom that has led to these views so avoid assuming we know why they think or feel like this! Gather more information about their context and ask for what you feel you need to know to better understand their thoughts or feelings.
- Check-in regularly. Start your lessons by asking, “How’s everyone feeling today?” or “Is there anything I can help with regarding the upcoming test?” Regularly ask how students are doing, both academically and personally. These mindful check-ins give you are an idea of how they are doing mentally and at the same time show your concern for students’ well-being and academic progress.
- Acknowledge their feelings. There are no right or wrong feelings. We may not agree with some feelings, but it is important to show respect for how learners are feeling. If you can, tap into your own experiences to find a way to understand what students are feeling or remember a time when you felt something similar. Responding by saying something like “It sounds like…” or “I hear that you…” can help you respond with empathy.
- Allow for some flexibility. Life happens and at times we all struggle to keep going in this rat race and yes indeed, we might miss a deadline! When appropriate, be flexible with deadlines and if useful allow students to demonstrate their understanding in alternative ways. For example, instead of a written exam, offer an oral presentation.
- Be encouraging and supportive. Learning a new language isn’t easy so remind them that you are in it together. Use ‘us’ and ‘we’ rather than ‘you’ and ‘I’. Recognize that learning is a process, give praise for their efforts and provide emotional support to those students who need it!
- Show your interest. Show students you value their perspectives and show that their concerns are important to you. For example, if a student expresses challenges with a particular skill or language point, follow up later to see if they are feeling more confident now. Also, think about things they have said and refer to them in future conversation. This not only shows you listened attentively, but also that you truly care about them!
Conclusion
Our job as teachers is not just about being knowledgeable about our subject and having pedagogical content knowledge. A huge part of our job is about creating the conditions for learning and building positive relationships is a crucial aspect. As Ferguson (2023, p.252) states “It is teachers who lead with their head and heart who hold the most powerful influence over adults of the future.” (Ferguson, 2023, p. 252)
We hope this blog inspired you to sprinkle some empathetic communication into your lessons this school year. Yes, it might take some effort from our side, but empathy is a key component of building rapport. And yes, it is not a one-off intervention but rather an ongoing journey of listening, understanding and growing together. But trust me, it is worth it as it can help us to better understand our students and as a result build a stronger classroom community where students not just survive but can truly thrive!
So, are you ready to get started?
